The Beauty of Doing Nothing Together
Article excerpt
In an age of relentless productivity and Instagram-curated social performance, there's an underrated pleasure in simply existing alongside others without pressure or spectacle. The article explores how casual, low-stakes time spent with friends, sitting on a porch, watching TV, riding in a car, has become increasingly rare and valuable. These unstaged moments, free from the burden of creating content or maintaining an image, offer a kind of relief that more structured social obligations cannot. The piece suggests that in recovering appreciation for unambitious togetherness, we might reclaim something essential about friendship and presence that digital life has eroded.
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There are times you meet friends for a long-planned dinner. And then there are times you invite them over just to hang out while you fold laundry. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to appreciate the second option.
Friendship in adulthood can feel like a feat of organization. We meet for brunch, make dinner reservations weeks in advance, or spend days trying to find a time that works for everyone. The activity itself becomes the point. Julie Beck recently wrote about the other kind of social life: one built around doing nothing in particular. Maybe you’re sitting on a couch while a friend answers emails, talking while someone packs for a trip, helping prep dinner. What you’re doing hardly matters. What matters is inviting someone into the ordinary parts of your life instead of waiting for an occasion that feels worthy of an invitation.
Today’s newsletter explores how some of the best time we spend with other people happens not when we’ve planned something special, but when we simply make room for them in the middle of an ordinary day.
On Togetherness
Fold Laundry With Me!
By Julie Beck
The case for a lower-stakes social life
Read the article.
Americans Need to Party More
By Ellen Cushing
We’re not doing it as much as we used to. You can be the change we need. (From 2025)
Read the article.
The Friendship Paradox
By Olga Khazan
We all want more time with our friends, but we’re spending more time alone. (From 2024)
Read the article.
Still Curious?
The anti-social century: Americans are now spending more time alone than ever, Derek Thompson wrote last year. It’s changing our personalities, our politics, and even our relationship to reality.
The friend-group fallacy: Many people yearn for a crew, but having one is not actually the norm, Jenny Singer writes.
Other Diversions
The Americans shelling out five figures for a coat of arms
The unglamorous truth about the average tradwife
What to read to really understand music
PS
Courtesy of Helen M.
My colleague Isabel Fattal recently asked readers to share a photo of something that sparks their sense of awe in the world. “Camas in a Garry Oak Meadow in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada. Breathtaking!’” Helen M., from Victoria, writes.
We’ll continue to feature your responses in the coming weeks.
, Rafaela