The Most Important Document We’ve Covered

It’s the shortest text we’ve covered so far, and the oldest of its kind in the world. Referred to as a trauma-informed document by one constitutional scholar (there’s your clue), it was born of a major screw-up in the aftermath of the American Revolution that left laws unenforceable and foreign policy a hot, hot mess. It’s one of the nation’s most important foundational documents, but as you’ll learn, a deeply imperfect one. We’re talking about the United States Constitution.

In honor of America’s 250th birthday, Jeff and Rebecca sat down with historical content creator and political commentator Amanda Nelson (yes, Book Riot OG Amanda Nelson, real ones know!) for a deep dive into the U.S. Constitution. They talk about what the framers were reacting to when they outlined the foundation of a new government, what the Constitution does and doesn’t say about individual rights, and how a concept that is never specifically named in the document has shaped the country ever since.

Listen to Zero to Well-Read on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Some Constitution Did-Ya-Knows

The U.S. Constitution was written in 1787 and ratified in 1788.

It clocks in at just 4400 words, 7700 with the amendments.

Its purpose really was to fix a screw-up: the vague language of the Articles of the Confederation made our early governing systems as weak as my resolve when presented with a nice piece of cheese

The only way to get the representatives from the Southern states to sign the Constitution was to allow them to continue not only the practice of slavery, but the ongoing importation of human beings, for at least a period of time. They were all, “We’ll sign your lil paper as long as we can continue doing the human rights violations. Give us twenty years plus one!”

If that last bullet wasn’t enough to make your eyes roll to the very back of your head, those concessions were made without saying the word “slavery” at all in the document. Not once.

For funsies: who remembers this SchoolHouse Rock jam?

Constitutional Quotables

Jeff and Rebecca on the mic are a hoot. Jeff, Rebecca, and Amanda on the mic are a hoot, a holler, and a hootenanny. Enjoy these out-of-context quotes from the episode, the most fun I’ve had learning about the Constitution ever.

“It was just a bunch of dudes in a hot Pennsylvania summer trying to figure it out and missing their family and also kind of hating each other!”

“So much of the best American literature is born out of the problems caused by this document for the people who live in this country. from like Melville to Morrison, it is all a constitutional argument, in my opinion, or at least nodding to the constitutional arguments, and the failures of our leadership to create an accepting culture, to in any way live up to the promises in this or the Declaration of Independence.”

“Alright guys. We’re gonna get out a quill pen and some parchment, and we’re gonna give GW the gavel, and we’re gonna lock ourselves in the room and figure this shit out.”

“I call this the original wet hot American summer!”

“Think of the chafing!”

“Think about Thomas Jefferson learning large language models.”

And to drive it all home, why you should listen to this episode and care about this document:

“You can’t defend yourself if you don’t know what’s defensible.”