Life and How to Live It (Part 1) by Chaz Holesworth

A painful, deeply felt memoir that captures an era

Chaz Holesworth fights back the fear of laying bare the worst parts of his early life in Life and How You Live It (Part One).

Holesworth was born in Philadelphia in the late 1970s to extremely poor parents. While his father was a drug addict, his mother converted from Catholicism to a Baptist Church. These are the circumstances that perhaps have shaped Holesworth’s childhood most. In one instance, Holesworth’s father presented his son with stolen toys. In another, he stole his son’s Nintendo for drug money. And naturally, his mother’s complete acceptance of born-again Christianity affected a lot of his upbringing as well, often by way of restriction.

Internally turning away from religion, though not yet able to fully act out his rebellion, the young boy found a sanctuary in rock music. R.E.M. and Tori Amos were his jam, followed later by Nirvana and Nine Inch Nails. As so many teenagers do, Holesworth centered his personality around his favorite bands, which provided not only a distraction from his far from perfect life but also a way to make sense of it and to gather some sense of belonging.

As endearing as the descriptions of his early absorption with the queer Michael Stipe are, so unsettling is his disclosure that his depressive, even self harming tendencies were validated by the words of Trent Reznor. In chronicling his fascination, he encapsulates the good and the bad aspects of the alternative music phenomenon which so characterized the pop culture of the period. This is an honesty that never villainizes the music but also doesn’t shy away from acknowledging its potential harm.

Throughout, Holesworth is relentlessly critical of his Christian upbringing, especially for the Church’s role in turning away his father and further pushing him down a bad road. He remains clear-sighted, however, recognizing the lack of racism but not all bigotry, in Baptist preaching.It is a revelation that feels to readers like we’re acknowledging a pretty low bar for American churches to set. In detailing his hardships, the author refrains from crossing over into bitterness, an attitude which, along with the snappy chapter lengths, make this an exceptionally readable book. It’s genuinely told and objectively real, a life you may not have had but one you can recognize with deep feeling.

With its blow-by-blow recounting of family drama, adolescent discoveries, and interpersonal teenage adventures, Life and How to Live It can be a lot to handle at times. But it tells a universal story that will strike a particularly resonant chord with those familiar with this period in American culture.

In its expression of wanting to retain youthful passions, Life and How to Live It is heart-achingly human. Ending before Holesworth reaches adulthood, this volume promises a sequel, and it absolutely deserves one.

The post Life and How to Live It (Part 1) by Chaz Holesworth appeared first on Independent Book Review.