The Anniversary by Andrea Bajani review, meet the terrible parents

Therapy brings childhood trauma to light in this ambitious tale of family rupture, a smash hit in Italy that fails to live up to its hype

A son leaves home for university and goes on to pay fortnightly visits to his parents for 20 years, dreading every encounter because of the oppressive control exerted by his father and the self-effacing passivity of his mother. Then one day, he changes his phone number and cuts off all contact. Andrea Bajani’s The Anniversary is written from the perspective of this son, 10 years after the rupture. The intervening decade has been, he says, the happiest period of his life.

The Anniversary has won Italy’s top literary prize and sold in the hundreds of thousands. It’s been lauded for shattering taboos, revealing families to be breakable structures and sons capable of defying their parents, even in Italy, where a Godfather-like idea of the absolute nature of family loyalty still pervades political and civic life. I came to it expecting some of the lurid revelation found in Knausgård or Houellebecq. What I found was something much simpler and quieter, exposing truths I thought we already knew: fathers can be oppressive and patriarchal; mothers can be occluded and powerless; children can be damaged, and therapists can help. Therapy aside, this was all material I recognised from neorealist Italian fiction of a much earlier era. Natalia Ginzburg, for example, showed vividly how totalitarianism seeped into the family through its patriarchal fathers, with mothers becoming hollow and timid in their wake.

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